The difference between Chatting and Listening to Oneself

G: It’s 10 to 10. How many times have you been caught saying things like “Uh, It’s not my fault”, “I was doing alright and that sort of thing and just having a chat to yourself and then all of a sudden someone says: “What?!” And you think, “Oh my God! I’ve been caught!” Talking to yourself. Clare Maxfield is our Image consultant. How are you Clare?

C: I’m really good. I was just telling myself yesterday how good everything is.

G: It’s really scary when you don’t listen to yourself, right? Don’t you reckon?

C: I think that’s very scary if you’re not even going to bother listening to yourself, who is going to listen to you?

G: Yeah. Okay what’s the fine line between having a chat to yourself and not being heard and being mad?

C: Well, I think the fine line is we all need to sometimes talk to ourselves and motivate ourselves. And sometimes using that third person especially like if it’s a situation we’re trying to make your mind up on something, it can be really powerful.

Because if you keep on thinking either this gets you too personal but someone outside of myself, you know what Maxfield, what should you be doing here?

And you can step away, you can see things realistically but if you find it a little bit lonely and you’re walking down the street and you’re going: “Isn’t it a nice flower over there? Gee they’ve got a great garden?! Oh, they really should have cleaned up the weeds over there.” And you’re just having a chat for the sake of a chat that to me is indicating that there’s a slight deal of madness there.

G: You did oblivious to what’s happening around. You touched an interesting point there. I want to continue with you speaking of the third person. I detest people who speak in the third person where people will say their names and sprouting a story. Why can’t be I or something like that?

C: Oh no, that’s completely..

G: And that to me is the center of the ultimate ego and I find it just detestable. Is there such a word as detestable, distasteful I mean.

C: There is detestable and distasteful, I totally agree with you.

C: I totally agree with you. I actually remember talking to someone once who continually referred to himself in the third person. He had a very questionable name anyway and kept using it in the conversation.

I was looking and going, seriously? Really? Yes. I don’t think it’s wise to have conversation with others and talk about yourself in the third person.

But if you need to have a talk to yourself, shall we say, then it’s better to use the third person because you are removing yourself.

It’s like you know, you might say to someone. If you had to give yourself this advice or someone else is going through, what you are going through, what would you say?

And that’s kind of when the third person comes in, but… if I was to sit here and say well what Clare, reckons is… That’s just weird.

G: Yeah, I guess now I agree. As I’ve said, speaking of the third person I just think Ugh… Okay, anyhow…

But I’m asking first, I have been playing sports for example and I say: “Come on Ridge, get your act together” or something like that.

C: Definitely motivational.

G: That’s alright, isn’t it?

C: That is motivational. That is fantastic. And a lot of situation people do it- in stressful, in motivational and situations where they just got to get themselves moving it- works wonderfully!

G: Do you think it’s better to talk out loud when you’re talking to yourself? For example, when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and hopefully it’s all fogging and you’re thinking, “how come I’ve aged so well and all my mates haven’t?

But do you think it’s good to espouse one’s thoughts out loud or should one just keep them to oneself?

C: I’m having a giggle to myself because I’m thinking of situations. I think it depends where you are. If you’re on your own, and you need to have a stern chat with yourself, well go for it.

But if you’re sitting on a train or you’re walking down the street or somewhere and there’s people around, keep it to yourself.

G: They might be interested. You never know. You might be a bit harsh?

C: Look. I maybe harsh but talking out loud when people know you’re not talking to them is a sign of madness. And we’ve all seen those people wandering down the streets muttering away.

G: Do you think when you’re sitting in the car talking on the phone, remember when years ago, very few people did that and you would be chatting away and then the person In the car next to you will be looking at you and thinking, “that’s a bit odd”

C: Uh-huh

G: They’re chatting away and now it’s all done deed that people around know what you’re doing. It is not that bad truly, isn’t it?

C: Not in the car. You can easily have a good chat to yourself. You might be going to a meeting, you might have left something, you want to tell yourself off, you want to build yourself up, that’s fine.

Again, as long as no one is sitting beside you, looking at your sideways.

G: Oh, I get your point. Clare Maxfield our image consultant.

If you’re going to talk to yourself, do it.

C: On your own.

G: On your own. Good on you.

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